2nd year 1st sem :)

I have promised God that I will testify for what he had done for me last semester. I just have to say that, it was the hardest for me. Not only because of the courses but because I was under a lot. By a lot I mean, depression, pressure, stress. Everything seemed complicated. I know I want something but I can't figure out what it is. I want change but I simply want it to happen without my participation. I was miserable for the last 5 months. I waited for life to start without noticing that, that became my life.

As I type this right now I don’t know if I am going to post this. But I know I have to let at least one soul to know my struggles. To know how MY God took over my life this semester.

I have many reasons why I felt that the last 5 months of my school life is the hardest. I forgot every good thing that has been happening. I became a pessimist. I was in denial. I let things get out of hand. It was complicated.

I am not saying that I didn’t have any problems like this before, I have. But the difference is back then I knew how to deal with this things. I took the wrong idea that the way I dealt with problems before is not anymore applicable today. That time has changed and things will not work like that anymore. But now I know I’m wrong.

Before when I have a problem, the answer was always easy. BE STILL and KNOW that HE IS GOD. To everything that is happening all I have to do THAT! Now I see the main thing that I have missed. It's that I wanted change but I’m not ready for it. The foundation of my new house-not literally but you get it- is not yet strong enough and yet I moved in anyway. I know now that abandoning my what-I-think-old-but-strong-house is wrong. 


Before I write the things that I want to do for this semester as a change, I’ll just say how God did everything for me last sem. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to focus. So what I did is pray. I don’t know how I got over everything but one thing is for sure. It was God who did everything back there. There were this moments when I can see and know for sure that He was there. Just like when I really need to ace my test and my classmate have her reviewer saying it's everything she reviewed for that chapter, and indeed that was the exact questions that was given. It didn't happen once, that went on like for the whole semester. 


So for the next semester I promise God that I will do my fair share on this one. I’ll make sure I’ll study really well and focus. But I will definitely make sure that he'll be my #1 priority for the next months and years. I’ll get back to where I started. I'LL BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. So that he will be exalted in my life, he will be exalted in the world. :)


Though I don’t want to end this just yet... I still have a lot to say. Oh right. These next months, no one or nothing will be able to bring me down. Coz I am already crawling on the ground. And I’ll crawl till I can walk again. What?! What did just happen that I ended up with that song?! Anyway, maybe that’s it for today. Peace and LOVE! Yeye :)