Realities of a Teenage Drama Princess :)

i dont know if its S.A.D. but nevertheless.. whenever i am sad. feels like i am being cheated by life. feels all alone and have absolutely no one... i remember you. regardless. and i always tear up every time. still. regardless.

bear with me as this will be a little appreciation post for 3 of my best friends :) why? because i feel like it. HAHAHAHAHA well actually.. because i am in a life changing situation right now and I need them. To tell you honestly, my best friend story all came from a very funny story. FIRST. :) panget. :P Jan Nikko Dapitin :) He was my classmate back in highschool. Never really knew when we became best friends. I think it was between those Y!m conversations and the long phone calls we had. The funny story? Well we became close because of a girl. hahaha typical right? But what i really remember when i hear his name is that he is the one who made me feel that i still have something back in manila. The hardest part of moving is knowing that while you are missing the persons you left, they're probably not missing you as much and that they could go on while you are stuck alone. Thanks to him, i didn't feel that much. :) We don't always talk but that doesn't make hi

Hey hey ;) so yeaaaaaah. Time went by so fast I woke up this morning and it was August 1st. It only means one thing! My July Bus Pass is expired!!! oh and yeah. My birthday's coming up! I can't believe it. I will be 20 years old in a few days time. That's a big number. WHOAH. I mean two DECADES already? oh man. that was fast. I can't even remember doing a lot to be honest. and that was 20 years already? xD Being 20 freaks me out. O.o anyway.. since this year is a special one for me, As I say goodbye to my teenage years... (and teenage dream played instantly in my head), I would like to make a 20 year old plan that I will look back on before I turn 21! I was too devastated last year to even bother and to make a big fuss how 19 is going to be my last teen year so I am doing it now since, hey, you are not really allowed to marry on your own without parental consent until you are 21... so technically, 20 is still considered dependent. 21 is when you are really free

from now on it's this... In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: “What kind of man are you looking for?” She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, ‘Do you really want to know?’ Reluctantly, he said,”Yes.” She began to expound… “As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can’t do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’” The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, “I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.” He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, “I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation &

Brad Pitt about His Wife A Secret of Love My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 ye ... ars. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep

I GOT THE KEY! yeaaaaaaaah. so i promised myself i would never go on facebook up until i am able to type down my experience. I am able to do it for 2 days now what is another hour or so. Before anything else, i just know that YC is gonna blow me away. I mean it is a YOUTH CONFERENCE for ALBERTA! not just edmonton but alberta! i know it is going to be HUGE! but i didnt expect it to be 11,000 people huge!  so yeah before the event.... i got a haircut! how is this relevant to the whole yc thing? because. what is a defining moment without a haircut right? and i knew that the theme for this year is "THIS IS LOVE" which is perfect for me.. because i somehow lost my definition of love... I have been disconnected to the real source of love and i just couldnt find my way back. I have always believed that whatever I do would mean NOTHING if i dont have love. Love is a powerful thing. and a few days back, i dont know what happened to me and i did a terrible thing that i am not p

I know I know. I’m getting tired of this myself. This post, as shallow as it may be, is inspired by John Lloyd and Sarah G. A photo from a year ago. I have been trying for weeks now to capture me, the way I used to. I remember having #selfie shots in random places and moments and somehow I am always happy with how I look… Sure, some shots would be annoying but still… lately, I can’t. find. me. in the photo. Something is always off. “parang may kulang eh… wala yung ngiti niyang abot hanggang mata” I tried recreating everything I used to do but nothing worked. nothing. no one. can fill the void. except JESUS CHRIST. until I am fully connected with Him. I won’t experience the joy, peace, LOVE! I felt before. I KNOW. I have said that a million times but it is not quite sinking in. and then… IT’S A CHOICE! nothing’s happening because I am simply waiting. waiting for it to happen. I thought time is all I need. I forgot I had to make a choice. EVERYDAY. I have to…c

Blog renovations soon! for now.. here's a song... yeah. I love Donnalyn so much i do what she does :))))) though this song speaks to/for me too. sooo.... ITS OK TO CRY! :)

That sinking feeling you get when you dont get what you want... when the things you expected to happen didn't follow through... CHANGE.. nothing in this world is permanent except CHANGE. and The LOVE OF THE LORD. and surprisingly.. after everything that i have been through for the past year... after all the heartaches and tears and disappointments and frustrations and anxiousness... This sundae still tastes the same. This has been... Mcdonald's i'm lovin it! :))))))))))))))))))))

http://someoneyouwillneverbe.blogspot.ca/2011/04/happy-birthday.html I can't live in a world where you and I are not together. and when i say together not together together but together . Happy birthday. Sorry but I am the kind of person whose words are not light. I say things I mean and mean the things that I say... When I said those words 2? years ago I meant those. I told you a lot of times and I will tell it to you today again... You were, are my definition of forever... i told you.. many years from now we'll still be like that. you can ignore me all you want but. you are my bestest friend. you will be one of the person that will come to mind every time i have an accomplishment, trials, heartaches, awesome thoughts and whatnots. i will be wishing in my heart that you will hear me... My words didnt change. my promises still stands.. yours may have faded and may be not applicable anymore but mine still is.. I will always be here so that you know where to find me ;)

PLAY: Part of Me - Katy Perry ~i initially recorded me singing it just to make sure if singing with a stuffed nose would really sound bad. and it did. so just read and sing this with me :)) Days like this I want to drive away|Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade| You chewed me up and spit me out| Like I was poison in your mouth|You took my light, you drained me down |But that was then and this is now|Now look at me|| This is the part of me|That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no| This is the part of me|That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no|T hrow your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows|But you’re not gonna break my soul| This is the part of me|That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no|| I just wanna throw my phone away|Find out who is really there for me | You ripped me off, your love was cheap| Was always tearing at the seams |I fell deep, you let me down|But that was then and this is now |Now look at me||Now look at me

since i still can not find my words... new for me actually because everybody knows i talk a lot. like a lot. i'll just post another video! of what i've been up to lately. well this didnt really take up much of my time... i had a week to prepare and like 10 seconds of the song to dance so... :))))) anyway. here it is!

I am once again in the phase where i am too conscious of what others might think or say about me that's why i can not post anything. i actually have typed a lot of things already but decided to just erase it because of the fear of anybody knowing what's going on. even though i clearly know that kuya patrick is the only one reading this, i can not seem to type anything that is relevant to what's going on with my life because of the fear of having "people" know. this may be too much but i am finding the internet a "not safe" environment. ok. i totally sound like a weirdo now. i guess all i want to say is... I miss blogging.

hahaha i have played this video enough times to actually hear myself. narcissist. :))))) annnndddd. yup. my ate's married. marcus failed me... after i trained him to raise his hand when my tito says... "sinong tutol sa kasal?" why did it went through? :))))))) nahhh kidding aside... i'm really happy for her. :) regrets i wasnt there.. :( and now more than ever i feel pressure!!!! my ate's married. my kuya's married. I'M NEEXXXXXXTTTTTT. *screaming out soo loud you're lucky you're not hearing it*

not with a fizzle but with a bang. ALWAYS with a bang. ;) 2012 came really fassssst. i can't believe i have to write my end of the year conclusions yet again. i think this would be my third. hmm. and to be really honest. i dont even want to write this one. i want to skip this year because 2012 has been. sucky. most of the time. but it would be  a waste now, would it? besides. who cares. i have 2013 in my hands now. and i can feel it in my bones. that 2013 would be the best year ever. ;) without further ado. LEGGO! THANK YOU!!! :) FIRST. to my Lord Jesus Christ . I know i have disappointed you this year on so many things yet you never change. Lord Thank you for everything. from my heart. I know you know how grateful I am. I usually just keep my relationship with you from anyone else just because i am scared they will judge it. but for this moment and for this year... let me just express how grateful i am of you and your love and grace and mercy for me and my family. Thank