Realities of a Teenage Drama Princess :)

why think. it's over. why study? it's unnecessary :)) love is really not meant for two BABY :)) *of course except for you two hannah and chi* but of course it is NOT meant for two kids acting like mommy and daddy already. :) everything was just so liberating. LORD. thank you for so much :)

"I have guys who are good friends, but I kind of like to be the girl that nobody can get." miley cyrus "What I've learned is not to change who you are, because eventually you're going to run out of new things to become." taylor swift  "Let’s be honest, I have enough money to never have to work again, but I would never want that…" emma watson i am NOT alone. but i feel alone. not suicidal. not yet. Mariel Tan

GGOOOOOODDDD. hello. this is my new realized dream. i want a dance number/music video like this please. she is just so... steamy. xD she's my new definition of hot and yummy :P iWant.

SORRY. just can't contain it any longer... a RANT on how Filipinos could think that Leukemia is such an easy disease that's why we often here it's their disease.

I am so moved. I saw this from Paul Dateh and Victor Kim. Janet was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) in August 2009 while studying at UCLA. She endured 8 rounds of high-dosage chemotherapy that lasted over the course of a year. In June 2010, she left the hospital in complete remission and began a regimen of maintenance therapy that kept her cancer-free for a year and a half.  Grateful for the time she had to be healthy, Janet finished h er studies and finally graduated. She was hired by a local school district to assist the teaching staff with tutoring high school students. Although she studied for the GRE and was accepted to graduate school, she declined the offer because she was uncertain about her career choice. Instead, she took a long-awaited dream trip to England and France with her mother. Janet also got a chance to appear in People Magazine on behalf of the nonprofit organization First Descents to promote hope and healing to other young adult cancer ...

HAPPY chinese NEW YEAR :)) lol. though i'm TAN and all, we don't really celebrate chinese new year. only the tikoy part :)) but this year... I WILL :) only because i am confused with the last new year's :)) And like last year, i promise not to make resolutions just end of the year conclusions, as inspired by Philip Wang... soooo... THIS IS A PLAN. not a resolution :)) LEGGO! :) FIRST ! As i promised myself, Tita Liz, Kim and Dane.... I WILL. EAT VEGETABLE s. from now on. I will. I really will. WHATEVER vegetable. i swear. i really will. GGGAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH\ SECOND ! BE HEALTHY . the complete package. sleeping at the right time, eating the right food at the right time, not eating the wrong food :)) LOL what do i mean by right and wrong food right? :)) ALSO this would have to include... Proper posture, proper weight. THE COMPLETE PACKAGE. THIRD! LIVE IT UP . do the things i really want to do. say the things i really want to say. LIVE like it were my last.. LOVE ...

wow. yesterday's blog post was well.. a crap. so let me do it all over again :) There are things I’ve been meaning to say... very important things.  I didn't want people to find out yet or at least not this way but anyway let me start with what happened last Sunday. Last Sunday was WOW. I started the day right, woke up early and all but still arrived at church late BUT not late enough to miss the whole thing. I believe that God arranged it that way for me to arrive at the perfect time... I was just in time for the altar call. Pastor Gil prayed for me... I don't know if he really knows or he's just convicted by the Holy Spirit though that's more likely... He prayed EXACTLY what I stood there for... he thanked the Lord for my safe travel and he prayed for my future plans... it was so detailed that it was giving me the chills xD and BTW while all of those were happening the song that was playing was “Still” yup. My song. After the service Joyce, Zy and I went to I...

HERE'S AN IMPROVED VERSION OF THIS :P http://someoneyouwillneverbe.blogspot.com/2012/01/one-more-chance.html save yourself and just read that one. :P Don't waste your time reading this one :))

did you know that today is VERY FUN? :) why? i'll write it down tomorrow :) and if you're wondering why i always do this check-out-my-blog-tomorrow thing it is because... i don't have the energy to write things today and i will have to do it tomorrow but with these post i feel like i am really obliged to do so only because i promised myself and the "readers" that i will. xD and since kuya patch really have been reading.... HELLO KUYA PATCH :) this is an appreciation post to you as well :) THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading and commenting :) i really appreciate it... i would want to answer all of your comments here but i think you wouldn't get notified even if i do so xD soooo.... there :) TOMORROW - BLOG POST. swear! :)

RRIIIIIGGGGHHHHTTT. instead of studying or fixing my things... I AM DOING THIS. well it take my mind off things :) ok i'm ready. :)

hello :) i'm back! in the philippines that is.. :) i should be celebrating right now right? because after all i got what i wanted :P BUT *dun dun dun* i don't feel like it.. only because... 1. I FELL ASLEEP. or I DIDN'T WAKE UP. i took a "NAP" at around 2 pm and woke up now. GRRRR. what is FAIL? xD 2. i have lots of quizzes coming up.. and somehow, i may have dropped my brain somewhere or i may have lost it slowly in the cold. xD 3. someone. tsk.  anyway.. i have lots to write (below) about for this blog but you see i can't as well because of those reasons above :)) 1. I get to finish my bible in one year project?, in the airplane, after the international date line so technically it's dec 31 STILL from where i finished it soooo :)) 2. of course how i spent my holidays and the lessons i learned from it 3. some things about somewhere :)) and what i realized from there. GOSH. me with lists again. :)) because on the plane ride home i get to ...

Got these questions from Chelsea Kane Though it is already January 2, 2012 from where I am typing... here's my end of the year survey! :) What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before? zip line! What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2011? MORE bonding time with friends. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I got good gradesfor my 2nd sem in 2nd year! What was your biggest failure? HAHAHAHAHA i got the lowest grades for my 1st sem in 3rd year. :)))))) What was the best thing someone bought you? I received a lot of "things" but  i wouldn't say they are the best... xD BESIDES the BEST things in life are FREE so how can someone buy it? What did you get really really really excited about? DEBUT. What songs will always remind you of 2011? Breakaway. kelly clarkson What do you wish you'd done more of? studying? What do you wish you'd done less of? being lazy. How do you plan to spend NYE? I have a lot ...

just like last year.... no more resolutions, just an end of the year conclusion... :) i'm still making plans for 2012 though :P To start off... 2011 was AMAZING! i'm not saying that every day was great but looking back... all i can remember is having so much fun! :) I had a lot of firsts and lasts.... first time zip lining and last trip to Doha, though I really wish not xD I don't really know how to sum this such great year with such little amount of energy that I have... so I'll just thank the people who made 2011 so amazing! They're the reason why this year has been a good one anyway... :) THANK YOU!  First of all to my Lord, Jesus Christ , for EVERYTHING :) for leading me back.. for being faithful even when I am not. I am in awe of your grace oh Lord that i can't contain it anymore I just have to overflow :) to my family, Mama , for still managing to be the best mom ever :) I love you mama, You're presence this holiday season is the best present I hav...

soooo... it's days away before the much awaited 2012   but before anything else... let me take a last look on the resolutions  PLAN i had for 2011... 1st. ENOUGH HUNCHBACK-YEYE. i am going to make sure my back is ALWAYS straight. i'll need this for the future. :) -------> A TOTAL FAIL. as i am typing I'm still as hunchback as ever. xD 3/10 2nd. BE THE DIFFERENCE that you always wanted to be. that the world needs . ----> Win? I would like to believe that at 2011... I WAS DIFFERENT. good different :) 9/10 3rd. LESS OF YOURSELF MORE OF OTHERS. as the movie "TRON" said it.. remove yourself from the equation ;) not EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. BUT of course TOO MUCH HURTS NOW. ------>   6/10 ? i can't say that i have arrived there, but am sure i'm getting there :) 4th. I-TOLD-YOU-SO-NO-MORE. stop saying i told you so. enough proving you're right and they are wrong. ;)  ------->  not because i am NOT saying it out loud doesn't mean it...

Dear Wong Fu Productions, Happy Holidays! I hope you're not stuck in the office doing some editing and stuff :) and because you guys are the biggest lego fans that i know... I thought of you when i saw these :) I don't know for you guys, but i found this pretty exciting :) It's located at a mall here in the Philippines and I never though it was made out of lego in the first place. Especially the giant Christmas tree! the whole place was filled with legos but i was too lazy  there were lots of people having their pictures taken so i only got these.... xD BTW... PLEASE come to the Philippines! :) You can ask David on how to ooooor.... you can tell AJ to accompany you! :P  zoom view of the giant christmas tree :) Though this one is so awesome, i think your tree  is still the best... ahmm 2nd best, my mom insist on us having the best tree ever :P  You're fan, Mariel Tan, Philippines :)

another aj rafael everyone :) i want to write something good for this blog but i just don't have the energy these days and these songs manage to give the exact feeling i have lately... enjoy! When we say - AJ Rafael Somethin' bout the way Somethin' bout the way you look in my eyes You make everything so damn easy So easy that I don't got to worry about a thing And baby when we touch All I can see is the image of us Sittin' by the ocean, just before the dusk Sippin' on a juicebox, with sand between our toes And this is the part when we say we're in love And the part where we have our first kiss But this ain't a movie, I know you can't come with me You got your life, he better be treatin' you right Just tell me you don't love me Tell me you don't feel the same way that I do Tell me I don't make you smile like I do when you walk in the room You're so... so hard to let go... Oh...  [ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/aj-ra...

because it's this time of the year again.... and aj rafael will be coming here in the philippines in january.. but i'm still not sure if i am going xD because it's on a wednesday. She was mine - AJ Rafael ft. Jesse Barrera So I hopped on a train 3 in the afternoon I don't know when I'm coming back, but I hope that it's soon See, I never thought (I never though) That I'd have to leave your side (your side) It's only physically but know that you will be on my mind Twenty-four hours at a time Cause in my eyes, you were mine (you were mine) No matter where you go, I won't be very far Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are Cause love has no distance baby Love, love has no distance baby No, not when it comes to you and me See, she wrote me a letter, said the weather wasn't better But she said that she was doing fine "I want to see you face to face", that's what she wrote to me that day And I knew t...

the band kenyo sang this at my cousin's debut :) looooove it! though their version during the party is way way better :)) they added some lyrics on the spot and it was so clever! TADHANA - Kenyo (formerly Orange and Lemons) Sino bang mapagbiro? Tadhana ba o tayo? Ewan ko, ewan ko Ewan oh ewan ko Ang gulo…ohh….ohhh Ang gulo…ohh….ohhh Ang gulo…ohh….ohhh Minsan ka lang pumorma Bigla pang uulan, Naistranded sa daan Nakalimutang tumaya bigla kang tatama Sa Lotto at sakla Minsan ka lang magsalita Biglang mauutal dila’y masasakal Sino bang mapaglaro? Tadhana ba o tayo? Ewan ko, ewan ko Ewan oh ewan ko Gumising ng maaga Todo bongga ang buhok, yun pala’y walang pasok Oh kay tagal mong tinayo Biglang magigiba, sinundan pa ng baha Kung sino pang nagmamahal Siya pang nasasaktan, lagi pang iniiwan Sino bang mapagbiro? Tadhana ba o tayo? Ewan ko ewan ko Ewan oh ewan ko Minsan ka lang lumaban Biglang mabubugbog, mukha’y lamug lamog Ang dalang mong maligo Biglang wala...

Too bad i'm on my writing mood. Yesterday. I HAD THE BEST DAY EVER. i felt ALIVE. after all that has been happening... i finally felt alive. like, what i did IS MY CHOICE. WHAT I WANT. and NOT WHAT I AM EXPECTED TO DO. what happened yesterday is another blog entry. i wish i was writing about that though. instead i am here, with my dark aura typing the words that should be kept inside. why is that, after everything i have done... this is still counted as my fault? Maybe it is... but can you manage on not BLAME IT ALL ON ME? lately i am not so sure if this is what i want. if that's the life that i should have. anyway. NO ONE can make me feel down WITHOUT my permission so... I HAD THE BEST DAY YESTERDAY and NOPE you're not going to ruin that today. you can go on doing what you do but you ain't tagging me along with that.

I normally share my blog posts in facebook. but this post won't be shared. well because... i'm shy hahaha just like a 14 year old. i have a crush on someone in facebook. :P These words are not from me but this is how i feel exactly. BTW... he is the only one i do this with :) I love ‘poking’ you on Facebook. Because of you, suddenly Facebook ‘pokes’ seem less stupid. Until I met you, the ‘poke’ was just an annoying relic to which the Western world’s most mature social network seemed stubbornly to cling, an element to imagine as interesting only to ‘tweens,’ but now whenever it says you have ‘poked’ me I want to poke you back immediately. I want you to never again have to wait long for me to click ‘poke back,’ because I want you to kinda smile the way that I do and I log in and it says “[You] have poked [me],” with your name in luminous, linkable blue text to remind me that you are a real person who is thinking about me. You make me wish that there was some kind of ‘next l...