one more chance.

wow. yesterday's blog post was well.. a crap. so let me do it all over again :)

There are things I’ve been meaning to say... very important things.  I didn't want people to find out yet or at least not this way but anyway let me start with what happened last Sunday.

Last Sunday was WOW. I started the day right, woke up early and all but still arrived at church late BUT not late enough to miss the whole thing. I believe that God arranged it that way for me to arrive at the perfect time... I was just in time for the altar call. Pastor Gil prayed for me... I don't know if he really knows or he's just convicted by the Holy Spirit though that's more likely... He prayed EXACTLY what I stood there for... he thanked the Lord for my safe travel and he prayed for my future plans... it was so detailed that it was giving me the chills xD and BTW while all of those were happening the song that was playing was “Still” yup. My song. After the service Joyce, Zy and I went to IRM. Surprisingly and very timely, there was Ma’am Lyn Mejia, my first year adviser and the one who prayed for me after my water baptism… She discerned that I will be a doctor and ever since then that has become one of the assurance that God really wants me to be one. After IRM, we went to Pan de Amerikana for our lunch. ULTIMATE BONDING EXPERIENCE. Then they didn’t allow me to go home so they decided to let me join their cell group with ate Alvie. Thank God I was there. When ate Alvie asked what our greatest fear was... I instinctively answered… “DYING ALONE” and “ending up with regrets, regrets of not doing the things that I should have done” After the cell group was the youth service of course. And Thank God, again, I was there. They sang the song “Fall” which is the song that I have been singing for the past weeks whenever I am not feeling so well. Once again, perfect timing. Then Pastor Bong’s message for the grand finale with the verse from Exodus 33:15 “And he said to him, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here…”

So here’s the thing, I am moving. To Canada. Soon. I didn't want to tell yet because of the verse from James 4:13-14 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” NO PUN INTENDED. But on a more serious matter, I didn’t want to tell people because I am afraid. I know Canada is a good thing; it’s a greener pasture as some people would call it, but I am afraid. Moving to Doha, six years ago, was easier than this. I have nothing to lose back then. Now, I have my diploma which I would be getting next year, my friends, my church mates, my grandparents, my possibility of being a doctor, my ATE, my Kuya and ate April and my first nephew, and everything and everyone else… don’t get me wrong moving for the first time to Doha, I had to sacrifice some of those as well but Doha is just a 9 hour flight away from the Philippines with a guarantee of being able to visit once a year…  But Canada is different… I don’t know when or if I will be able to get back…  I am afraid that the people that are so close to my heart right now won’t remember me after all of this. I am afraid that I won’t be able to become a doctor anymore, or finish anything at all for that matter. I am afraid that I won’t be able to find real good friends there as I did in Doha and Philippines. I am afraid that this is not what God wants, or at least right now, to happen to my life.

BUT LAST SUNDAY, I was able to, somehow, assure myself that whatever happens, God will be with me and I need not be afraid. J He purposely reminded me to BE STILL and know that He is God. He also gave me Exodus 33:14 “The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." J

I don’t exactly know when I will be leaving but we don’t exactly know as well when will we die so haha :P I appreciate each and every one of you who have read this up to this part. I am taking it as you caring enough for me to read all the way through. With that, I am asking for everybody’s help. Pray for me, please. Pray that my next actions would be what God is willing for me…. Pray that I may have the strength to do His will, whatever may that be. Pray with me please. J