flashback for the nth time.

I know I know. I’m getting tired of this myself.

This post, as shallow as it may be, is inspired by John Lloyd and Sarah G.

A photo from a year ago.

CIMG1794

I have been trying for weeks now to capture me, the way I used to. I remember having #selfie shots in random places and moments and somehow I am always happy with how I look… Sure, some shots would be annoying but still… lately, I can’t. find. me. in the photo. Something is always off.

“parang may kulang eh… wala yung ngiti niyang abot hanggang mata”

I tried recreating everything I used to do but nothing worked.

nothing. no one. can fill the void.

except JESUS CHRIST.

until I am fully connected with Him. I won’t experience the joy, peace, LOVE! I felt before.

I KNOW. I have said that a million times but it is not quite sinking in. and then…

IT’S A CHOICE!

nothing’s happening because I am simply waiting. waiting for it to happen. I thought time is all I need. I forgot I had to make a choice. EVERYDAY. I have to…choose to forgive. choose to love. choose to accept things. choose to just let JESUS IN. choose to let HIM.

I am hurting once again. I am dying a little everyday.

It feels like I’ve been here forever. why can’t you just intervene? Do you see my tears keep falling. I am falling apart at the seams. You never said the road will be easy but you said that you will never leave. you never promised that this life isn’t hard but you said that you’d take care of me. So I’d stop searching for the answers and stop praying for an escape. And I’ll trust you God with where I am and believe that you will have your way. JUST HAVE YOUR WAY. ---britt nicole.

He’s on HIS way. yeye. though it seems slow.. it is not late by a single day….

Comments

  1. Patch AApril 28, 2013 at 8:50 PM

    just as loving, forgiving, getting angry or sad are all choices, so is being in Christ. we may all be Christians alright but as you've said, choosing to stay and follow His lead is an ACTIVE choice we should make EVERY DAY. not just every week, month or year but every day. why? because of free will. because we're flawed.

    we confront a bazillion changes every day of our lives that may cause us to slide back to our past self or push us to go further or just leave us where we are. this also means that we have to constantly remind ourselves if we are able to please God or even surrender to God in that situation or with that person.

    in the end, mariel, even if it feels like forever, as long as you actively seek God and true joy in your life, you will always hunger for God and will want Him there.

    i'll share with you a verse:
    15 Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

    17 And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”

    18 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

    it's from Exodus 33.

    God bless you mariel :)

    ReplyDelete

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