what's up? ketchup? :P

seriously. what's up?

here i am already full but can't help to get some more. i want to be the girl who says whatever she wants to say, whatever she needs to say...

i don't know what to do anymore. I am falling apart. I have a sick dad thousand miles away from me, I have 2 pre-finals and 2 quizzes tomorrow and that's just the beginning, the next weeks will be a lot harder than for my acads... I have a big decision to make that would affect everything... I know i should have had made my decision.. i thought i had BUT BUT BUT. yeah that big BUT. My prof told us that if we are doubting that means we are doing something wrong... because if we are doing the right thing there should be no doubts...

sometimes, most of the time, i just want to break down and scream... "LORD, TAKE ME!"
please. please please. just take me... xD

but at the end of the day... it's still going to be up to me.. so i say...

I AM CHOOSING TO BE BETTER. I am going to take it day by day.

Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own"

anyway.. the reason i posted is.. i'm broken hearted... :( but then again...

Psalm 34:18 "The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

so YAY ME! ;)

and LOOK WHAT I FOUND...

God's Plan

Some things are beyond planning.

And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.

You don't plan for a failed business venture.

You don't plan for an adulterous husband

or a wife who wants you out of her life.

You don't plan for an autistic child.

You don't plan for spinsterhood.

You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.

You plan to climb the corporate ladder.

You plan to be rich and powerful.

You plan to be acclaimed and successful.

You plan to conquer the universe.

You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.

You don't plan to be hurt.

You don't plan to be broke.

You don't plan to be betrayed.

You don't plan to be alone in this world.

You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.

But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.

Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.

Sometimes, God allows pain so we can be stronger.

Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.

Sometimes, God allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans, but understand that we live by God's grace.

 

source of the poem.