say it.

here i am swallowing whatever it is that needed to be swallowed and saying what's really up. why on a blog post? just because! idreallykwhy. and it took me a lot of courage just to make sure you're going to be able to read this so... i expect something in return. xD like ahmm a reply? THANK YOU! ;) and mke it easier please. xD ang hirap lang kasi nito.. idk why i didn't just message you with this and still decided on posting this here but eto na eh so xD :))

why can't you just say what you mean? or is that what you mean.... i thought we got past this already.. yet here we are again. not saying the things that are needed to be said or at least the things we wanted to say. xD I'd be lying if i am to say I am COMPLETELY over it. because after years, you are still one of the persons that comes into mind whenever i hear the word LOVE. I know that's not fair because after all.. haha but seriously.. i compare every guy who comes along to you... and somehow i am still comfortable with the idea of getting married to you some day... AND nobody ELSE can make me believe in forever again.. yet i know.. forever exists when you say it. I can't manage to believe them because i am certain they would be like you but i can't help believing you... xD I don't plan on getting back with you because i really had enough and that's for sure but.. i'd be lying if i say i don't love you anymore.. i know somehow we are on the same page. not saying that you still love me the way you loved me before.. all i'm saying is.. if you are as confused as i am right now. just say it please. because... this is the reason why we didn't work out.. we didn't say what we really mean and here we are doing it again... and because... i don't want to be alone again. at least not on this one... I just need to know what's really up with you, with me. I don't want to be here still hanging. still not sure on what's going on. still waiting. i feel like i have been here after everything else.. I need this to be able to start again. so yeah? let's stop taking this as a game or whatever. fine ako na loser. xD