unWELL

all day... staring at the ceiling making friends with the shadows on the wall... :P

if you know that song.. you're old enough :))

Last January, I went to "my final home on earth" as my dad said.... And did you know that I almost wasn't able to get back to my ehh not-so-home home :P so here it is. the story to that. something that i should have typed a long time ago... something that i should have dealt with, accepted a long time ago...

THE STORY IS HERE! : figured some won't like to read the story so placed it on a separate post... PLUS THERE IS A VERY SPECIAL SURPRISE DOWN/UP THERE! :) http://someoneyouwillneverbe.blogspot.com/2012/02/story-p.html


You know how in the beauty pageants, how they say their names and the place they grew up in or represent? WHAT IF i'm going to be in one... would i say... 

Hi! I'm Mariel Lynne Tan of San Mateo Rizal! or.... Mariel Lynne Tan of Marikina City! or of Philippines! or... of Doha, Qatar! or of University of Santo Tomas! or of Philippine School Doha!  or of MFBC! or of IRM or of QICM! 

lately, i am just confused as to where do/should i belong. I'm just tired of moving. I am well aware that my moving always had been for the better.... i know that. i understand that... but i am just confused, disappointed, sad, frustrated, scared.

CONFUSED - did/do i really belong here? will i belong there? 

Disappointed - because i thought i do. but right now, i don't think i ever was... disappointed because... i fought for this... i... just thought... that somehow... i am special to you guys, as you are special to me! 

SAD - because i am disappointed :P no really, sad because... again. moving again. being away again. losing people again. waiting again.

frustrated - things are not really going well.... in general. things are not supposed to be this way....

scared - of the future... scared of being left behind again. scared of being alone. scared of accomplishing nothing. 

I always love to type things out... because i know that i am getting answers to my questions as i do... :)

but before everything else... this song first... :) The Call - Regina Spektor

Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never been this way before

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye
here it is.

confused? you are exactly where God had planned you to be :) See it on a different level yeye... will you? only GOD knows.. but i have a feeling you will.... you know you will... you just have to have the right attitude. open-minded! :)) *inside joke* and MOVE ON. :)

disappointed? DON'T BE! "all you can do is try to know who your REAL friends are" :) besides... not everyone is like them xD :) focus on people who cares, who give a damn about what's happening... :) focus on them who appreciates you :) there you go. you're smiling already!

sad? BE HAPPY! as you heard on the radio this morning... you don't want to look back on your life and regret on how you spent your days being sad... besides.. "Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before" :P you have done Doha and Philippines.. why that place would be any different? besides! you're finally going HOME :) home is wherever my family is... :) I AM GOING HOME SOON :D finally.

scared? WHY? Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light! and YOU know exactly the star you are going to pick! :)
 Psalm 139:11-12 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
you have a BIG GOD yeye. someone who know your going out and lying down.... someone who perceive your thoughts from a far... someone who knows the words you are about to say... someone who has PLANS FOR YOU :) plans to prosper you and not to harm you,  plans to give you hope and a FUTURE :) you have JESUS yeye, why would you be scared?

and to finish the song... YOU'LL COME BACK WHEN IT'S OVER, NO NEED TO SAY GOODBYE :)

and besides... earth is not really your home... HEAVEN IS... :) that's more worth thinking over than this.. :)

live in the PRESENT. STOP your what ifs. BE HAPPY wherever you are... :) accept the fact that that phase of your life is over... ACCEPT the facts yeye... TRUST GOD... everything will be ok.. :)

LET Go yeye... really... LET GOD :)

Comments

  1. Patch AFebruary 6, 2012 at 4:02 AM

    ... and yes, you're right mariel. you've got a BIG GOD. your problems are only as small as how BIG you think your God is :)

    (i'm still sad haha)

    but you know, well, anyways, when we talk, i'll tell you haha :P

    ReplyDelete

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