Realities of a Teenage Drama Princess :)

nope not gonna post the lighters. which as currently typing I am LSS-ed with. We both lie silently still in the dead of the night Although we both lie close together We feel miles apart inside Was it something I said or something I did Did the words not come out right Though I tried not to hurt you Though I tried But I guess that's why they say Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn Yeah it does I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go But I wonder does he know Has he ever felt like this And I know you'd be here right now If I could have let you know somehow I guess Though it's been a while now I can still feel so much pain Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals but the scar, that scar remains I know I could have saved ...

I can’t believe that it has been a month since I turned 18. many things had happened. bith good and bad. depending on how you’ll view it.  anyway, I have to sleep and I’m just gonna say directly what I want to say. I’m over it. I’m done. I’m done telling myself that everyone is like you. I’m willing to get hurt again. I’m tearing my walls down so somebody will be able to reach me. I’m DONE. you have no hold in me what so ever, I’m ready to live my life the way it should be.

hello! this post is actually a “Homework” from ate avis. She told me to write my testimony and print it out. but I’m gonna post this anyway. enjoy   Hello, I’m Mariel Lynne Alfonso Tan, just turned 18. I’m glad I was given the opportunity to write down my testimony, the story of how God has been so great and awesome in my life for the past 18 years. I was born and raised in a Christian family. The story on how I knew about Christ isn’t as exciting as others would have. Nevertheless, it didn’t make the works of God in my life less exciting. Since I was from a Christian family I grew up in the church. I remember me as a kid, always attending the Sunday school. As I grew a little older and my parents got more involved with the church, I joined the praise and worship team. Even then, I knew something was missing. Since my going to church and being active was so generic, it became so normal to me. The feeling was like “wala lang”. There, I find it wrong. I find it so usual to pray ...

so I’m back. to my “normal” quiet boring saturday nights. my family just left a couple of hours ago.   I know I promised my blog –was gonna say readers but I don’t think I have one YET sooo anyway- that I am going to write again. BUT my heart is still not ready to write something other than this. sooo for tonight I’ll post this.   BTW. for that guy. I NEED YOU. where are you? are you purposely doing this? AM I THE ONLY ONE who felt something DIFFERENT? I miss you. write me soon…

i know i haven't posted anything for a loooooooong time now. xD it's just that my family is here so would i rather spend my idle hours sitting on my computer like this or talk to them, right? but this saturday they will be leaving.. and most probably i'll cry my heart out again. I dont even know why i cant get used to the pain... anyway.. surely by then.. i'll be able to write something, yeah? and YES, i'll be posting stuffs that i should have said during my debut but couldn't because i can never handle that xD plus i want to increase my blog traffic soo.... HAHAHAHA SEE YOU SOON! love peace and twinkles, yeye :)

reblogged from Paul Dateh @ http://pauldateh.tumblr.com/post/7377582840 “What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, “This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned-and you with it, dust of the dust!” Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, “Never have I heard anything more divine?”” Viewing everything from today… I would gladly take it…. I WOULD DO EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN a few moments after.. maybe i am not so willing to do it all over again now would i? i'm a teenager LET ME BE.

I have had this thought for a while… though I’m surprised I haven’t blogged about it yet.. so here it goes I don’t exactly remember but I have encountered some odd question before and it goes a little something like this… “If your body was to be scattered all over the place, who would you be? would you say you were your arm? would you say you were your feet?” well, if I were to answer that.. I would have to be my thoughts.. I know it’s not a visible part of the body but that would be me. My thoughts are personalized it’s mine. anybody can have the same eyes as mine, the same hair as mine, the same body as mine but my thoughts? NOPE they are MINE. they’re ONE OF A KIND. I believe that the complexity of my mid is really  ---> out of this world  anyway… I still have to study so…

just a thought: you are unique NOT because of  WHO YOU ARE, but instead because of THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.. I have managed to clearly state my point about how self-centered our generation is. I admit I am not completely selfless but I am trying to be sensitive… Everybody struggles on how they will have their OWN self or identity for that matter. BUT I believe that we can’t completely make our own without getting something from someone… I mean we are not designed to be like that… we can NEVER create something OUT OF NOTHING. only GOD can do that… whenever we create our so-called IMAGE, whatever we do… it will ALWAYS be influenced by others…. BUT REMEMBER… God made us UNIQUE! everyone of us is unique. now my theory is this… that it is not our personal self that makes us unique but the people around us. come to think of it… WOULD THERE BE ANYONE IN THIS WORLD with the same SET of friends as you have? OR would there be anyone in this world with the same set of friends AND FAMILY as you...

so last night was the much awaited concert of David Choi!  I was so waiting for last  night for so loooooong  I mean I JUST LOVE DAVID CHOI! and him going here in Manila is really A DREAM COME TRUE! Though the skies are not so clear yesterday… I JUST COULDN’T STAND TO NOT GO! I MUST SEE HIM. and so I did DAVID CHOI EXPERIENCE :) VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL *takes awhile to have the photos in its best quality...  I went with my bestfriend  she honestly don’t know David but that’s even perfect right? David just gained another fan! Since there’s a typhoon and flood all over manila, few people came  but that made the show even more “intimate” as David described it  David said he had colds and his ...

ALL TIME LOW Praying won't do it –(not true) Hating won't do it Drinking won't do it Fighting won't knock you out Of my head Hiding won't hide it Smiling won't hide it Like I ain't tried it Everyone's tried it now And failed somehow So when you gonna let me When you gonna let me out – Out And if you know How do you get up from an all time low I'm in pieces Seems like peace is The only thing I'll never know How do you get up Get up ‘Cos driving won't do it Flying won't do it Denying won't do it Crying won't drown it out What you said When I'm standing on the yellow line Waiting at the station Or I'm late for work A vital presentation If you call me now girl Without reservation I would try to break through I can't even find a place to start How do I choose b...

anx·ious adjective /ˈaNG(k)SHəs/ Experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome - she was extremely anxious about her exams (of a period of time or situation) Causing or characterized by worry or nervousness - there were some anxious moments Wanting something very much, typically with a feeling of unease - the company was anxious to avoid any trouble - my parents were anxious that I get an education Synonyms adjective: uneasy , worried , solicitous , concerned , restless , eager , troubled , apprehensive   source: Google Now that’s PERFECTLY what I am feeling… it’s not that I hate the philippines… but. MY FAMILY IS NOT THERE. so. God knows how much I want to cry right now but that would be weird specially when Taio Cruz’s Dynamite is playing. 

YAY! last night was just awesome :) and i’m not saying that just because i got some really nice things :) I SWEAR! :)) so last night my dad ecided to throw my despedida though i still have a few nights here in doha.. we had dinner at applebee’s!!! :) the steak was so YUM :) the place was GREAT :) though i may have been bratty in the beginning we managed to end in a very fun meal :) then….. we went shopping! :) YES!!! the mall was on sale so it was super worth it :) everybody went home with smiles on their faces :)

It's JUNE ALREADY O.o WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH it just happened all SO FAST. is that already 2 months?! anyway... there's no point in doing all of those now.. UPDATE!   1st. ENOUGH HUNCHBACK-YEYE. i am going to make sure my back is ALWAYS straight. i'll need this for the future. :) --- seriously... this is the toughest i have on this list! It's just so haaarrrrd.   2nd. BE THE DIFFERENCE that you always wanted to be. that the world needs. --- WINNING! :)  3rd. LESS OF YOURSELF MORE OF OTHERS. as the movie "TRON" said it.. remove yourself from the equation ;) not EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. BUT of course TOO MUCH HURTS NOW. ---   i did missed on this a lot for the previous month. i'm continually seeking God's help on this one!  4th. I-TOLD-YOU-SO-NO-MORE. stop saying i told you so. enough proving you're right and they are wrong. ;) ---   totally said it a lot of times this month. forgive me. :( 5th. READ YOUR BIBLE. i PLAN to finish the bible :) it...

Day 30 – A picture of someone you miss i would definitely miss this 30 day photo challenge but this will have to be my answer… hahaha too much of myself? well this picture shows my smile :) i will miss my real happy smile.

Day 29 – A picture that can always make you smile I can always hear this picture speaking… “but that’s new stuff… you gotta wait for it!” :P

Day 28  - A picture of something you’re afraid of. June 4 to be exact….

Day 27 – A picture of yourself and a family member my dear brother  and just stating the obvious… his teeth are chocolate coated  hahahaha

Day 26-A picture of something that means a lot to you OHANA